You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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