Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's paint friendship bongs
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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