so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize