shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
