You're my little dorito
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize