Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
