he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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