If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
