I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She bit a glass in half.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
