Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
