im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
