You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
