Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
