i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
