I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize