Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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(937): View more from Ohio

We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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(734): View more from Michigan

The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?

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(757): View more from Virginia

You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude

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(810): View more from Michigan

You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.

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