fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize