sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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