He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
