i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
