More tranny stories later!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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