I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
