I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
