I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize