everyone is single if you try hard enough
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
