did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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