What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize