I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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