just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
