i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
