Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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