I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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