i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
