Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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