Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
