Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
