apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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