i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
