in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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