He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize