woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
