We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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