was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize