I just threw up on my dentist
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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