i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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