she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
