What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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