Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
