You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just tell him i said nine months
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
