Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's blow job season.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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