Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
