I want to make a zoo with you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize