Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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