: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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