Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
two words: eviction party
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
