I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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