Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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