It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
