Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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