I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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