New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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