I am puke
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
