If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
