We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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