CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
