I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
