he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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