dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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